Tribute to Sammy Hambly
It is with with enormous regret and immeasurable sadness that Sammy,
Ron's partner and wife for 19 years, died on 21st May 2004.
This tribute was initiated by Reg Walton, a humanist, for him to read it at Sammy's funeral service: Ron made significant changes to the first draft and Reg was more than content with the resulting text which is as follows:
Tribute – Sammy Hambly
as read by Reg Walton
"I met with Ron, Becky and Gill
to find out about Sammy and suggested that we just about chat her for a
while and Ron quoted from one of Sammy’s favourite films, Sleepless in
Seattle - “'How long is your programme?' because the funeral’s on
Saturday!"
"Sammy was a dynamic, extrovert
woman who lived life to the full – “Life’s not a rehearsal” she
would often say.
"Sammy was a hopeless romantic
who found her soul mate in Ron. They
were inseparable and always looking to surprise one another with small
gestures, such as giving cards with brief messages reinforcing their love
and affection.
"She was impulsive, energetic
and enthusiastic.
"She would talk to anyone at
any time, which meant that sometimes a trip to the shops for a loaf of bread
could take an hour or more by the time she had spoken to people she knew,
and often people she didn’t know.
"Whereas some would avoid them,
Sammy would make a bee-line for elderly or disabled people and ensure that
they were included in whatever was going on.
Maybe it was the Butlin’s Redcoat coming out in her, but more
likely is that she was just an exceptionally kind and thoughtful person.
"She was the sort of woman who
would help anyone in need.
"She was always fulsome in her
praise for a job well done but, make no mistake, she could have an acid
tongue on occasions when she felt aggrieved.
She certainly wasn’t afraid to complain and seemed to get more than
her fair share of apology letters with cheques or vouchers attached!
"She was a dedicated sun
worshipper but after a couple of cloudy days in the Summer she’d be off
for a sun bed to get a ‘quick fix’.
"Sammy liked to be in the thick
of things and was a great believer in recording events and holidays on film
and video. As a result,
Sammy’s family can look back on the many years of fun, and the camera
never lies.
"Sammy was born in Halifax,
Nova Scotia but didn’t realise that she was Canadian until as a teenager
she wanted a passport. Over the
years she became increasingly conscious and proud of her nationality –
give or take a period of treason by insisting that she was ‘North
American’ because she had fallen in love with New York as a result of her
visits there.
"Sammy and Ron were taking
Becky to Halifax in September and were to renew their vows, but sadly that
has been taken from them both.
"The innocence of Sammy’s
childhood was cut short when her mother became ill with cancer.
Sammy became the second mum as she was frequently left to look after
younger brothers and sister when her mother went out to work.
A life expectancy of six months became a 7-year battle and this had a
profound effect on Sammy.
"Music and singing was always a
major part in Sammy’s life – playing her guitar and singing in folk
groups before going solo and becoming semi-professional.
"She started by joining the
Wallasey Operatic Society where she met and worked with Nigel Lithgow.
She was part of a group called Brooklyn Eeze singing in pubs, working
men’s clubs and many other venues.
"Sammy left school and took her
first regular job at the Wallasey Town Hall as a typist but gave that up to
become a Butlin’s Redcoat. She
worked at most of the holiday camps as well as touring with the
entertainment Redcoats during the Winter.
"Comedian Frank Carson was camp
comic one year and later, when she took Ron and their girls back stage to
meet him, he referred to her as ‘little Annie O’Neill’ – she changed
her name constantly through choice, marriage and for stage purposes –
Tammy Jones, Tammy Stevens and Sammi Kain are probably being sought still by
the Inland Revenue today!
"Sammy cut short her singing
after her mum died while she was in Belfast fulfilling a contract with the
MoD to entertain the troops. Her
claims to fame were auditioning for Opportunity Knocks (the earliest Stars
in their Eyes), cutting a record, beating Les Denis in a talent competition
and sharing the billing with people such as Bob Monkhouse and Tom
O’Connor.
"The music she loved to hear
was very wide ranging from Celine Dion through Black Eyed Peas, Robbie
Williams to Eminem – a really wide spectrum.
"Sammy met and married
Becky’s dad Graham after a typical Sammy whirlwind of 3 weeks and she
never stopped loving and caring for him beyond their 12 years together –
she would be so very pleased that he and his father have come here today.
"She met Ron in 1985 when she
was the office manager for a firm of Solicitors opposite where Ron worked as
an estate agent. They had a
business relationship, but that became more when Sammy was asked by Suzanne,
one of her colleagues, to initiate a match making exercise for her to meet
Rhys, Ron’s assistant, but it all went pear shaped and wound up with Sammy
and Ron getting together.
"Divorce is tough on all
concerned but Sammy did her best to shield Becky from as much as she could
and both Sammy and Graham did everything they could for Beck to keep
stability in her own world. One
of Sammy’s tricks was to reinforce Becky’s relationships by asking her,
“Who do you love most in all the World?” and Becky's answer had to be
"Daddy":
second was "Nanna" followed by "Grandad". This
was typical of Sammy’s selfless approach to life and her dedication to the
well being of Becky and Ron’s daughters subsequently.
"Sammy and Ron moved around,
renting, and buying and selling homes along the way until they settled in
Whitley Bay, which they both loved. After
14 years together, they were prompted by the forthcoming Millennium to marry
in Las Vegas without any fuss, relatives or ceremony.
"Sammy had been studying
Computers in Leicester but gave that up for Ron to take a job in the North
East. She was halfway through a
degree course when Ron was made redundant and Sammy had to settle for an
HND in Business and Finance at Northumbria University (I’m told that it didn’t involve too much
adding up!) so that she could get a job and keep
their newly acquired home in Park Avenue where she died peacefully at home
last week.
"At 43, she the oldest in her
group and worried whether she’d fit in – how could she do otherwise?
She got on really well with her fellow students and had she own
‘gang’ in which she was invariably doing her ‘Redcoat’ bit.
She spent many a time in Reds Bar for drinks and she did her
‘Mother Hen’ bit too, by encouraging her much younger cohort of friends
to enjoy University but still work hard.
"The University lecturers
really valued her well-established ‘work ethic’ and the influence that
she had on the other students but, much as they encouraged her to continue,
she chose to graduate early – but she did so with style - 4 Passes, 5
merits and 12 Distinctions. Typical
of Sammy, she was so excited that she hired the cap and gown for her
graduation ceremony for a full week instead of the usual day – she almost
slept in it and, needless to say, lots of photos were taken.
"Afterwards, she went into
training and worked with a number of ‘Training for Work’ organisations.
She suffered a massive setback when she was treated very badly at one
organisation and an Employment Tribunal ensued.
Sammy suffered blatant character assassination that shattered her own
confidence and self-esteem but she came through and won her case: the
substantial settlement started her series of trips to Canada and America but
could never compensate fully for the effect that it had on her.
"And that’s how she first
came into contact with Barnardo’s at Palmersville, where she to went work
as a volunteer – back in training but unpaid.
She brought her time and experience but in return received huge
support for her own efforts to rebuild her confidence – Barnardo’s has
played a massive part in her life from then on.
"There was an opportunity to
apply for the staff job while she was volunteering but she didn’t
because she found out that another volunteer who had been there longer was
applying. Being the caring
person she was, she didn’t wan
t to queer the other person’s pitch, but
her time came again and she became a permanent member of staff – something
she has taken immense pride in ever since.
"While working there she had
the opportunity to go to 10 Downing Street and met Cherie Blair (President
of Barnardo’s), David Blunkett, John Prescott, etc. Tony Blair was in
Northern Ireland.
"Sammy loved the Eurovision
Song Contest and from 1956 onwards watched every show but one - Ron videoed
the wrong channel and how he suffered for it!
One of Sammy’s “speechless” moments was when Ron surprised her
and they went down and saw the final dress rehearsal in Birmingham in 1998. Ron became addicted too, but they didn’t just watch
passively: they concocted their own scoring systems and would mark every
country’s performance.
"Then there were Sammy’s
travels!
"It started in earnest when
Sammy was concerned that she hadn’t received her usual Christmas card from
her mum’s former best friend Auntie Benny in Halifax, Nova Scotia, so she
used some of her compensation money to visit but then went on to spent the
next month going around all over North America by ViaRail and Amtrak.
"Ron insisted that she bought a
pay as you go mobile in Canada but despite being assured by the salesman
that it would work in the USA, it didn’t.
To his amazement, a really angry Sammy walked through his door, just
within the 30-day warranty demanding and getting her money back!
"Alone, she went from Halifax
to Seattle, on to Los Angeles, Long Beach to see the Queen Mary, Chicago,
New York, Montreal, Quebec and back to Halifax.
She wrote countless letters to Ron and bought a local newspaper at
every city along the way to bring back as a souvenir.
"She really fell in love with
America and met lots of people but remarkably a lovely lady called Roberta
invited her to stay with her in Orange County, LA: they met on the train,
chatted and she found out that Sammy hadn’t booked a hotel and insisted
that she shouldn’t be alone in such a dangerous city.
A true friendship continued via email and on a subsequent visit she
took Ron to see Roberta and stay with other people that she met – Jim in
San Diego and Pattie & Jerome in El Paso.
"Sammy and Ron then went on
numerous trips to the States and along the way collected an enormous amount
of mementoes large and small. They
now virtually fill an entire room from floor to ceiling, including her
newspapers and t-shirts, baseball caps, you name it, it’ll be there. The
mementoes are not just in the room but all over the house.
"They went to the New York
Yankees Stadium – she was a big fan – and Ron arranged for a message to
be displayed on the huge scoreboard which read, “ Sammy Hambly was here
Dec 2002” and she was thrilled.
"On a trip to the Grand Canyon
she got chatting, as she would, with the native Indian coach driver.
Remarkably, he had his headdress with him and guess what, despite it being a
very personal possession, he let Sammy wear it – and yes there’s a
photograph! 
"On another trip on Amtrak,
they met some Amish families. They
don’t like having their photos taken because it makes feel like tourist
attractions, but Sammy said how very well behaved their children were and
struck up a conversation – nothing new there!
She asked and they readily agreed, not just to a couple of stills,
but some video as well. Usually Amish resent being photographed – but they
weren’t prepared for Sammy!
"Sammy’s favourite European
destination was the Canaries for the sun, what else!
"Ron said that Sammy remained a child at heart – a big kid who lived in “Hambly land” and through movies because she hoped or expected there would always be a happy ending.
"She was passionate about some movies and watched them all the
time. Her favourites movies
included Sleepless in Seattle, Castaway, Any Given Sunday and Ground Hog
Day. Tears were a regular
feature of movie watching. Much
to Ron’s frustration, Sammy always wanted to sit in the front row at the
Cinema.
"We can’t pass without
mentioning Car Boots! Sammy
loved them and the chatter when haggling over prices and finding her
bargains which have filled the house to bursting.
But she was always looking out for small token gifts for friends –
Dalmatians for Brenda, angels for Roberta etc.
Anything to bring a little joy to someone else.
"Sammy was definitely ‘low
maintenance’ and not remotely materialistic.
Car Boots spoiled her for real shopping but she was only ever
interested in the people that she loved and cared for.
"Sammy and Ron didn’t go out
and socialise much at all. They were just totally happy with each other’s
company. They didn’t really need anyone else but were happy to snuggle
beside each other on the couch.
"If one were in the house
without the other they would be just lost without them and looking forward
to the other’s homecoming.
"Did they argue much?
Absolutely, and with some vigour on occasion, but Ron told me that
nothing festered too long and the best was that there was nothing they
couldn’t withstand and overcome. For
example, Sammy was possessive of Ron’s time only because she just wanted
to be together.
"The best part was knowing that their love would transcend all. They were a tactile couple, always near, holding hands and kissing (but not in front of the trainees!) and cuddled up in bed together every night – “the best part of the day” Ron would always say to Sammy.
"Sammy and Ron did so much
together in their 19 years and he takes great comfort in the precious time
that they spent on the roller-coaster ride that she took him through.
Roller-coasters are exciting but predictable whereas, but with Sammy
at the helm, you could end up almost anywhere!
He never expected so much and hoped that it would never end.
"Sammy died suddenly, totally unexpectedly but peacefully at home."
- Ode to Sammy - written by Gill and Becky Hambly - Ode
to Sammy
- An inscription made by Ron in a book that he gave to Sammy less than a week before she died - Inscription
The music chosen by Ron and his daughters included
- You're my home - Billy Joel
- Ave Maria - Celine Dion
- The greatest love of all - Whitney Houston